I’m not talking about highway bottlenecks where lanes close and you’re forced to let people in; I’m referring to those situations where we or other drivers choose to let a car in.
When the driver in front of us lets someone in, we might get a little annoyed at both cars for causing us to slow down. But when we choose to let that car in, we tend to be less annoyed at the car and the overall situation, and can even derive pleasure from it.
What draws the line between annoyance and pleasure is the sense of reward we do or do not get. When someone else lets a car into our lane, they are slowing down and wasting our time to help someone who does not have the right of way. There is no reward for us. But when we personally let someone into our lane, we are being nice and helpful. Our good deed rewards us with a sense of self-satisfaction and we are less likely to be bothered by the predicament.
This is even the same in school lunch lines: we let our friends in but we get annoyed when others do it. On the road, should we choose to let another driver in, the intimacy of friendship is simulated by our proximity to the other driver.
Becoming annoyed when other drivers let cars in while obtaining pleasure from doing the same action ourselves is indeed irrational. After all, whether we or other drivers let the adjacent cars into our lane, the result is the same: the car joins our lane in front of us. What ultimately affects our judgment of the situation is whether the one to gain something, even something as slight as positive feelings, is us.
